HDFC LIFE

Thank you

for sharing your memories

Event Address

G5A Foundation for Contemporary
Culture Shakti Mill Compound

Salma Shafeeq Ghori

This coming July18, Salma Shafeeq Ghori completes 17 years without her husband Major Shafeeq Khan Ghori. It was her son's first day at school. She had been visiting family and they had just come back home when a group of Army men knocked on the door. They had been trying to reach her the whole day with the news. The first two days, they said his condition was critical. “It was a shock for my father-in-law and my little one who did not understand what was happening around him. Nobody wanted to believe it was him and finally after two days of wait and agony, he was brought home for a final farewell with due military honours,” Salma recollects. Salma and Shafeeq had a happy life together for 10 years, till 2001. With two beautiful children, Salma says that she didn't know what sorrow was. The children grew up and got busy with school, but she felt a void that nothing could fill. This changed when she made friends with Subhashini Vasanth, who ran the Vasanthratna Foundation for Arts. Vasanthratna Foundation helps the families of Army martyrs heal through arts and vocational activities. “While looking after the families of martyrs, understanding their sorrow and pain, I realised that I was not the only one who was suffering. So many of them had it much worse than me. Spending time with these women and empathising with them has helped me overcome my own pain,” says Salma.

Alisha

Alisha lost her brother when she was very little but has few vivid memories of him till date She writes: "Memory is like a paradox. Some moments of the past are worth cherishing and some best forgotten. When I remember the past , my memory is filled with a whirlwind of emotions ; of cheerfulness, joy, desires, angst, anguish & trauma . Way back in 1991, when I was just about four years old, our lives turned upside down. My only brother, Asif who was about 11 years old went missing while on his boarding school trip. Our lives were about to be shattered and the effects would last till this day. Four long dreadful days of endless searching ended with retrieving of bodies of two young boys who drowned while on their football practice outside the school premises. Although only four, I had shared some precious moments with my brother . I remember the times we played , the times we danced to our favourite tunes and somehow the last time I saw him at his school. Being a child myself, I remember clearly the long wait to see my brother back and bidding him goodbye one last time. However , my pleas were’t answered and for better because now I remember him the way I saw him the last time I met him at his school full of life and energy. As time passed, I experienced this terrible silence and void in a house that had two young girls growing up. My older sister was detached and spent time alone while my parents would remain quiet just staring at blank walls. Nobody was ready to talk about the pain . As far as I was concerned, I decided to excuse them and allowed them their time to grief. I was mostly spending time by myself but being a child I had to make it all about me . For a short duration, I believed that nobody cared about me and had turned into a rebellious kid. I am thankful to have come across some very loving and caring people who helped me move on and made me understand life better . Although, his absence was felt while growing up at every occasion , it was when I watched a movie that triggered my old memories. I was now a young woman of 25 and wanted all the answers. I wanted to basically get a closure. Very painful and difficult thoughts clouded my mind and I started going back to whatever memorabilia we had of my brother for answers. In the whole process, I learnt some very important things about living life. In the very short span of my bother’s life, he was able to leave a great impact on everybody he came across and till today people remember him fondly. Death is inevitable and certain and it is all about living well while we are alive. However, the very thing that I learnt early as a child from this terrible loss was to relate to others and have compassion. We are all the same and share the same joys and pains in life. It is the ability to relate to one another and be compassionate that makes us Humans. I have learnt that what seemed to have bothered me was the separation . Today, I know my dear brother has passed on to a better life and that his spirit is always present with us."

Have fond memories of a lost loved one that you would like to tell?

Share your story with us.

Selected stories will be featured on our social profiles and at the event.

DISCLAIMER